What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
