I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
