I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize