whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
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