She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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