just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
