What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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