I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh god the rape fog is back!
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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