I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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