kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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