I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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