She said her name was "party"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
