He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Randomize
