grandma shit on top of the toilet
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
