I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
