I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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