We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
