Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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