By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
