it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
