your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
