Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
