Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize