It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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