I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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