I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
there is glitter all over my balls
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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