omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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