Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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