it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
