operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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