I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
