There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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