This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
