I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
