Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize