Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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