she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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