so that wasnt chicken after all
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
