you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
