The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
