I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
