all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Randomize
