So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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