I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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