Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
