Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
