I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
