So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
