if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
