ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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