I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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