It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
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