I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
