Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
