Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
