She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
