well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
