god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize